This is Our Story
Connecting Matters is a retreat for married couples designed to provide a unique opportunity to take time out to focus on the relationship. It is not aimed at solving marriage problems; however, in a relaxed, non-threatening atmosphere, participants are encouraged to review their marriage, recognise and build upon strengths, and identify and discuss potential trouble spots.
This is Our Story
What can we expect?
We offer stimulating presentations and discussions. Even though sharing is grounded in Christian principles and the presenters’ lived experiences, people of all faiths are welcome. The format is not sitting and listening to lectures. Rather, it is experiential and fun.
You will NOT be asked to share anything private or confidential, nor be pressured to ‘work on your marriage’ in front of other couples. In fact, you don’t have to say a word publicly. Nevertheless, participants have said that hearing other couples voluntarily discuss similar marital issues, helps them to normalise difficulties with their spouses.
We encourage active, honest participation and interaction with your spouse over topics relevant to marriage. such as connecting in strengths and needs, connecting in communication, connecting in anger and conflict, connecting the past with the present, connecting in sexuality and connecting in spirituality and intentional dreaming.
What will we come away with?
Connecting Matters is an opportunity to `meet’ your spouse again, to renew your relationship through communication and to discover new meaning and joy within your marriage relationship. This workshop/retreat is a gift you can give to each other through the sharing of yourself and your time. Time is our most precious possession and spending it with each other is a priceless gift.
This gift, initiated on the weekend, can supply you with new tools and new growth in your marriage relationship. Continued use of these tools will enhance your relationship and allow it to grow towards genuine intimacy.
Those with a good relationship will have the opportunity to better it. Those with a tired relationship will have the opportunity to revive it. Those with a cold relationship will have the opportunity to warm it.
"Stronger connections, deeper love"
Because healthy relationships don’t just happen; they’re built with intention, grace, and understanding.
"Where hearts meet and healing begins"
Helping couples and individuals navigate the challenges of connection with wisdom, faith, and hope.
"Love well. Live whole"
Equipping you with the tools to foster meaningful relationships that bring joy, resilience, and transformation.
Our Beliefs
- We believe that transparency and truth build trust in a marriage relationship.
- We believe that struggle, failure and conflict are inevitable in marriage and are part of the growth and healing process.
- We believe that the foundations of closeness and intimacy are fostered through intentionally seeking to learn to love well. Our desire to support others to nurture integrity, compassion and authenticity in marriage relationships is a reflection of this value.
What will we come away with?
- We believe that transparency and truth build trust in a marriage relationship.
- We believe that struggle, failure and conflict are inevitable in marriage and are part of the growth and healing process.
- We believe that the foundations of closeness and intimacy are fostered through intentionally seeking to learn to love well. Our desire to support others to nurture integrity, compassion and authenticity in marriage relationships is a reflection of this value.
"Stronger connections, deeper love"
Because healthy relationships don’t just happen; they’re built with intention, grace, and understanding.
"Where hearts meet and healing begins"
Helping couples and individuals navigate the challenges of connection with wisdom, faith, and hope.
"Love well. Live whole"
Equipping you with the tools to foster meaningful relationships that bring joy, resilience, and transformation.
Barry and Paula Davis
Barry and Paula Davis have been married for over five decades and have two children and two grandchildren. Barry is a retired chartered accountant with a degree in theology and is currently involved in developing relational tools for men as they explore their inner worlds. Paula is a retired clinical counsellor, supervisor, and university lecturer (both in Australia and developing countries), with a Doctorate in psychological trauma education.
Together, Barry and Paula design relational tools for married couples. For many years they conducted workshops for traumatised couples in post-war developing countries. They have also presented marriage workshops and retreats in Australia, East Africa, Sri Lanka, India, and Switzerland and facilitated workshops for missionary couples in Kenya and Uganda.
Barry and Paula see themselves as an ordinary couple living through the highs and lows of married life. They are passionate about relationships and enthusiastic about sharing their journey because they believe that their story offers hope to other couples. They are acutely sensitive to unfairness and injustice in all societies and possess an unshakable desire to keep pushing the boundaries of learning to love well. In 2021, they felt compelled to document decades of experience in a book titled, A Safe Place: A Marriage Enrichment Resource Manual that is accessible on this website or most online book-selling platforms.
About Our story
Seven years into our marriage, our relationship experienced its rockiest time. One day I (Barry) was cleaning up the garage hoping the hurtful and painful issues between us would magically disappear. (My motto was, “When the going gets tough, the tough go to work.”) But underneath existed a dull ache that would not be soothed by work. Meanwhile, the anguish in my (Paula’s) heart howled for relief. After several years of anguish, we reached our final scream.
In a decisive act of hurt, anger and exasperation, I (Paula) entered the garage where Barry was working and told him it was over, I would only stay together for the sake of our children. I was still hoping for some reaction from him that would tell me there was hope that we could work it out. However, instead of inviting him, I precipitated a crisis that demanded a response. How could it come to this when we had entered marriage with such high hopes and strong convictions? Bruised, broken hearted, bewildered and bleeding we were now at the end of the road.
Many years later, we entered our twenty-fifth year of marriage. We decided not only to celebrate our anniversary, but to celebrate the joy of marriage, our growing intimacy and our life together. Again, we went to the alter to renew our wedding vows and pledge new vows for our future together. It was a tender, special milestone.
Why the contrast? What happened to bring us from the lowest point we experienced to the joy of celebration?
If you are married, you will know that marriage is like that. It is in our closest relationships where we hurt the most. There is no hurt like the hurt that happens in the place where love is supposed to reside and there is no joy like the experience of genuine intimacy. Marriage will always be a mystery to us. We can allow it to change us or destroy us.
Our marriage has been an extraordinary, miraculous journey of discovery and grace. We want to share that journey with you. Even though marriage is a mystery, there are life-giving principles that enable us to experience rich and powerful intimacy together. We encourage you to nurture and renew your marriage by taking time out to attend a marriage workshop or retreat. Our hope is that your relationship will be truly enriched, as together we seek to learn what it means to love well.
Come, grow with us!
Paula and Barry
About Our values
We believe:
