“Only the heart that hurts has a right to joy.” ~Lewis Smedes
“Nothing is ever too far gone for hope to come find you.” ~Unknown
“Now hope does not disappoint…” ~Romans 5:5
“What are you doing here?” ~God
The garden is beautiful, clothed in the glory of Spring. I immerse myself in its soothing, life-giving essence. I pick a bright yellow pansy with a dark, mysterious centre and hold it up to my granddaughter, knowing she is entranced. As I walk around my garden with her arms clinging to me and her head resting on my chest, I sing over her. Her eyes gently close and she sleeps there, quieted by my love.
A week later I am struggling with a deep hurt for which I have no words. As I seek God’s face with wordless groans He brings the garden image to my mind and reminds me of Zephaniah 3:17, “The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” He asks me to lie on His chest like a trusting child while He sings over me and quiets me with His love.
My mind alights on the story of the prophet Elijah whose soul is also troubled. 1 Kings 19:3-5 (MSG) records his weariness:
When Elijah saw how things were, he ran for dear life to Beersheba, far in the south of Judah. He left his young servant there and then went on into the desert another day’s journey. He came to a lone broom bush and collapsed in its shade, wanting in the worst way to be done with it all—to just die: “Enough of this, God! Take my life—I’m ready to join my ancestors in the grave!” Exhausted, he fell asleep under the lone broom bush.
After God nurtured him with food, water and sleep the Scriptures record in verses 8-9:
He got up, ate and drank his fill, and set out. Nourished by that meal, he walked forty days and nights, all the way to the mountain of God, to Horeb. When he got there, he crawled into a cave and went to sleep. Then the word of God came to him: “So Elijah, what are you doing here?”
To those who struggle in wastelands too deep for words, God asks, “What are you doing here?” Elijah lost his purpose and his heart, but his experience demonstrates that God does not want us to stay hopeless and despairing. Rather, He is willing to meet us in the midst of our desolation and minister to us in both personal and practical ways.
What is a Biblical Response to Desolation?
As a trauma counsellor, I understand firsthand how the brain can assault the heart. We have to learn the language of the heart. We can learn its language, as the heart really knows its own suffering. My granddaughter’s frustrated wails are attempts to express her needs in the absence of words. Her crying is distressing and impossible to ignore. Similarly, our heart’s cries, expressed through our emotions, are attempts to get our attention. Sometimes the head finds it impossible to understand the depth of our suffering. Our thoughts attack us and lead us into deeper desolation. We must ask the heart what it is trying to say. The answer to God’s question, “What are you doing here?” is found in the heart.
Times of desolation engender frustration, guilt and a lonely sense of inadequacy. I remember once how in the midst of my suffering I was offered a “cook book” approach by well-meaning people that laid out steps to follow until the job was done! In our desire to be practical, it is easy to reduce God’s principles to a set of techniques. Why do we do this? Spiritual by-passing is perhaps due to the underlying fear of failing to have answers and possibly laziness – we want avoid the difficult personal heart-work that is required to heal. Rather, we want to see results and see them now. Healing desolation can never be bypassed or reduced to a set of steps – it requires understanding, discernment and wisdom.
Life continually robs us of our expectations. Everything important defies our attempts to control it. We live in a broken world, but it is often in our wounds that God speaks most deeply to us. Therefore, desolation will be explored from three Biblical aspects:
1. What can we learn from Isaiah 61:1-3?
2. What can we learn from Elijah’s bout of depression?
3. What can we learn from the pattern of the Psalms?
The third Biblical aspect – What can we learn from the pattern of the Psalms? – will be covered in the next blog.
What can we learn from Isaiah 61:1-3?
In Isaiah 61, the prophet speaking prophetically on behalf of the coming Messiah, the “Anointed One”. The same passage is repeated by Jesus in Luke. Jesus, the Anointed One possessing all the power of God, came to undo all the havoc that sin had wreaked because of the Fall. Isaiah 61:1-33 says:
The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the Lord
for the display of his splendor.
Elsewhere, Micah 7:8-9 claims, “Do not gloat over me, my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light… He will bring me out into the light…”
The enemy gloated over the darkness of my desolation and tried his best to utterly destroy me. It took time, but through grace God gifted me with “night vision” – an ability to see in the dark. It has been proven that after approximately thirty minutes in a dark place, we begin to experience night vision. Spiritual night vision enabled me to see and believe that God would eventually, “bestow on [me] a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning” (Isaiah 61:3) and He has made good on His promise.
A crown of beauty and a garment of praise
Photo by Rainier Ridao on Unsplash
In Isaiah 61:3 ashes speak of burnout, despair and of all the joy being sucked from life. Yet, while we are in this place Jesus promises to exchange beauty for ashes. In Hebrew “beauty” means “headdress” or “a crown” (BibleHub, n.d.). Exodus 29 uses the word to speak of the bonnets that the priests used to wear. During a funeral service, the Jews would put on sackcloth and place ashes on their heads as a symbol of distress, mourning and deep grief (Jastrow, 1899). Isaiah declares that instead of ashes for mourning, God gives a beautiful, glorious crown or headdress as a sign of joy.
Moreover, He bestows “a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.” A “spirit of despair” is translated in other versions as “the spirit of heaviness, the spirit of weakness and a faint spirit” (Legge, 2011). In another context in the Old Testament, it is applied to a lamp where the flame is about to extinguish, “A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out” (Isaiah 42:3) (Legge, 2011). Some scholars interpret a “spirit of despair” as an actual demonic spirit (Legge, 2011) that must be dealt with, for when left alone, it will morph into a powerful stronghold. Depression was certainly an enemy stronghold in my life, designed to take me out. I remember how strong a spirit of heaviness felt – like I was enveloped and covered with a dark cloak. It was like the enemy was trying to extinguish the light of my very essence and remove it from sight.
Ironically, one of the secrets to recovering from desolation is choosing to dress in “a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.” The Messages translates it, “a praising heart instead of a languid spirit.” Like every provision of God, the garment of praise must be put on by faith in a God who is able to exchange the dark cloak of despair with a garment of praise. This is good news for those whose spirit is heavy and are too emotionally exhausted to muster up attempts to change. But there is a caveat. Ephesians 6:16 urges us to “take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.” God requires our willingness and our faith. He will not force the garment on us.
But choosing the garment of praise has the power to conquer evil spirits and remedy a spirit of heaviness. David repeatedly chose praise in the midst of discouraging and demoralising circumstances. Paul drew strength from praising God and remembering His faithfulness. Even while languishing in prison, Paul and Silas chose to sing praises to God instead of reeling from their distress. When we deliberately put on the garment of praise we are declaring to the enemy that we will not believe his lies that tell us God is not faithful in this circumstance. Praise recognises and acknowledges that our true strength comes from God alone. Habakkuk 3:17-18 is our declaration:
Though the fig tree should not blossom and there be no fruit on the vines, though the yield of the olive should fail and the fields produce no food, though the flock should be cut off from the fold and there be no cattle in the stalls, yet I will exult in the Lord. I will rejoice in the God of my salvation
As I remembered my granddaughter’s quiet trust, I chose to put on the garment of praise. It healed my soul and calmed and delivered my troubled, heavy spirit. As Isaiah 61:10-11 expresses:
I will sing for joy in God,
explode in praise from deep in my soul!
He dressed me up in a suit of salvation,
he outfitted me in a robe of righteousness,
As a bridegroom who puts on a tuxedo
and a bride a jewelled tiara.
For as the earth bursts with spring wildflowers,
and as a garden cascades with blossoms,
So the Master, God, brings righteousness into full bloom
and puts praise on display before the nations.
Pray this prayer:
Spirit of heaviness, I bind you in the name of Jesus and command you to lose your hold on me and leave me now. Holy Spirit, I invite you to heal and fill me with Yourself and Your joy and peace. I choose a garment of praise and ask You to clothe me, that I might become an oak of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of Your splendour. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
The oil of joy for mourning
There are several possible meanings for “oil of joy”. Some scholars believe it symbolises the Holy Spirit (Legge, 2011). There are also two other contrasting pictures to consider. The first picture is of being anointed with perfumed oil as a mark of joy or honour. In Psalm 45:7, 23:5 and Luke 7:46 this honour was reserved for festive occasions. At feasts, oil was poured on the heads of guests who were rejoicing; for example, during a wedding celebration.
The second picture is the opposite. It represents mourners experiencing a calamity or their grief at a funeral (2 Samuel 14:2) (Barnes’ Notes on the Bible, n.d.). Different garments were used for each occasion and oil was reserved only for joyful celebration. Hence, “Jesus transforms sorrow because He transforms the mourner” (MacLaren’s Expositions, n.d.). Transformation is at the heart of healing. Jesus came to pour out the oil of joy that heals the broken-hearted and sets the captives and prisoners of darkness free, so that they might come home to themselves. Their mourning heart is transformed into celebratory joy.
Pray this prayer:
Lord, I confess, in agreement with God’s Word, that You, Lord, are worthy to be praised. You have poured on me the oil of joy for mourning. Forgive me for allowing the enemy to focus me on grief and negativity and for not looking to You to rescue me. Give me strength to praise and glorify You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
What can we learn from Elijah’s bout of depression?
Elijah journeyed from a place of prominent ministry and productivity to running away from his life. He had just prayed for rain and it arrived after a seven-year drought. He called down actual fire from heaven and the nation of Israel turned back to God. Eight-hundred and fifty pagan prophets were killed in a display of God’s displeasure and power. Elijah had just experienced one of the highlights of his ministry. But Jezebel, queen of Israel, intimidated by his prophetic ministry, threatened to kill him. Instead of calling on God’s power that he had just witnessed in such spectacular fashion, Jezebel’s threat blindsided him and sent him fleeing into the desert, trembling, fearful and suicidal. “He sat down under a solitary broom tree and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life, for I am no better than my ancestors who have already died” (1 Kings 19:4).
Elijah was exhausted and felt isolated from carrying the burden of ministry alone. He spilled his heart to God, “I have zealously served the Lord God Almighty. But the people of Israel have broken their covenant with you, torn down your altars, and killed every one of your prophets. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me, too.” (1 Kings 19:10). How could Elijah so quickly forget what he had just experienced on the mountaintop?
God confronts Elijah with the question, “So Elijah, what are you doing here?” He opens Elijah’s spiritual eyes to see what he is unable to comprehend – that God has things under control. God challenges Elijah’s despair, loss of heart and loss of purpose by gently telling him to get up and start doing what he is called and equipped to do. He tells Elijah that He has singled out a new apprentice for him and that there are seven thousand others in Israel who have not bowed their knees to the pagan god, Baal (1 Kings 19:16-17).
Instead of judgment, God gently nurtures Elijah. “Then he lay down and slept under the broom tree. But as he was sleeping, an angel touched him and told him, “Get up and eat!” (1 Kings 19:5). He needed rest and nurture for his physical, emotional and spiritual exhaustion and God provided it. Then God reminds the depressed, suicidal prophet of his purpose and instructs him in what He had in mind for Elijah’s future. It is heartening to know that when we are shattered in our focus and faith, God finds us in our deserts just as He did Elijah and speaks tenderly to us, reminding us of whose we are. As Gerald May (2007, p. 94) utters:
True love, then, is not only born of freedom. It is also born of difficult choice. A mature and meaningful love must say something like, “I have experienced other goodnesses, and they are beautiful, but it is You, my true heart’s desire, whom I choose above all.” We have to turn away before we can come home with dignity
Psalm 40:2 so movingly says:
I waited and waited and waited for God. At last he looked; finally he listened. He lifted me out of the ditch, pulled me from deep mud. He stood me up on a solid rock to make sure I wouldn’t slip. He taught me how to sing the latest God-song, a praise-song to our God. More and more people are seeing this: they enter the mystery, abandoning themselves to God.
A Final Story…
There was once a poultry farmer who was given a present of an eagle’s egg. He decided to experiment by putting it with some eggs a hen was hatching out. In due course the eagle emerged with the chicks and grew up with them in the very confined area of the barnyard. Even though it was never quite the same as the chickens, it adapted itself to their ways and it always thought of itself and acted as one of them. One day, when it was about a year old, its eye caught the inspiring sight of an eagle in full flight. This caused something to stir within the young eagle. However, not knowing who it was, it was soon brought back to earth by a rooster telling it to stop stargazing and to get on with what it was meant to be doing.
Now, there are two endings to the story. One has the young eagle putting its head back down and continuing to do what it was told for the rest of its days within the very limited world of the barnyard. The other ending is that, inspired by the vision in the sky, the young eagle stretched its wings and took off into the sky. Never again was it confined to the barnyard as from then on it had the sky for its limits.
clipart-library.com/free/eagle-soaring-png.html
Our calling is to abundant life. We were not made for barnyard. We are made to soar with Christ. The Gospel is a call to passionate union but we are more concerned with being in control than consumed. Henry David Thoreau said, “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.” Ask God to call forth that part of you that longs for, “those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint” (Isaiah 40:30-31).
Closing Thoughts…
Desolation is very real and God asks, “What are you doing here?” Elijah lost heart but God did not want him to stay there. He provided a Biblical way of dealing with desolation, as we discovered in Isaiah 61:1-3 and Elijah’s bout of depression. Desolation is not something to be dreaded or gotten rid of as quickly as possible so that we can return to normal. If after suffering, a person returns to who we they before, they have sadly missed an opportunity to grow. Desolation is not always what it seems in the moment. God knows what He is doing – He never wastes pain. After a painful experience, we frequently grow in our faith and become wiser. Our mess becomes our message, as we risk hope. A poem by Mark Nepo (2013, p. 143) eloquently expresses it:
It’s as if what is unbreakable-
the very pulse of life – waits for
everything else to be torn away,
and then in the bareness that
only silence and suffering and
great love can expose, it dares
to speak through us and to us.
It seems to say, if you want to last,
hold on to nothing. If you want
to know love, let in everything.
If you want to feel the presence
of everything, stop counting the
things that break along the way
Reflect…
Take a moment to become quiet in God’s presence. Recall a previous experience when you felt very close and connected to God. Spend a few moments giving thanks. Tell Him what it is about that time that you appreciate.
Then, without self-judgment, allow yourself to become aware of desolation in your life right now. Quietly sit with God and notice what emerges.
Without judgement nor trying to fix it, invite God to show you what He wants you to see.
Ask God to enter this place and tell you what He wants you and Him to do about it.
A Declaration…
I declare that though I have fallen, I will rise, though I sit in darkness, You, Lord, will be my light. You will bring me out into the light. I declare that You have bestowed on me a crown of beauty instead of ashes and the oil of joy instead of mourning. I declare that You, Lord, confront depression and despair in my life and make it abundantly clear it will not win. I declare that You, Lord, give me life to the full.
A Prayer…
Jesus is the Good Shepherd. Pray David’s poetic praise to God in Psalm 23 (adapted from The Passion Translation):
You, Lord, are my best friend and my shepherd.
I always have more than enough.
You offer a resting place for me in your luxurious love.
Your track takes me to an oasis of peace, the quiet brook of bliss.
That’s where you restore and revive my life.
You open before me pathways to God’s pleasure
and leads me along in your footsteps of righteousness
so that I can bring honour to your name.
Lord, even when your path takes me through
the valley of deepest darkness,
fear will never conquer me, for you already have!
You remain close to me and lead me through it all the way.
Your authority is my strength and my peace.
The comfort of your love takes away my fear.
I’ll never be lonely, for you are near.
You become my delicious feast
even when my enemies dare to fight.
You anoint me with the fragrance of your Holy Spirit;
you give me all I can drink of you until my heart overflows.
So why would I fear the future?
For your goodness and love pursue me all the days of my life.
Then afterward, when my life is through,
I’ll return to your glorious presence to be forever with you
About the author: Dr. Paula Davis is a clinical counsellor, supervisor and educator specialising in psychological trauma. She has worked in higher education over many years as senior lecturer in counselling. Along with her husband she designs and delivers marriage enrichment/education programs in Australia, Africa, Sri Lanka, India and Europe.
References
Barnes’ Notes on the Bible. (n.d.). Isaiah 61:3. BibleHub. Retrieved from https://biblehub.com/commentaries/isaiah/61-3.htm
BibleHub. (n.d.). Isaiah 61:3. Retrieved from https://biblehub.com/lexicon/isaiah/61-3.htm
C. Joybell C. (n.d.). C. Joybell C. quotes. goodreads. Retrieved from https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/488135-the-strength-of-a-woman-is-not-measured-by-the
Groom, N. (2006). From bondage to bonding. USA: NavPress.
Jastrow, M. (1899). Dust, earth, and ashes as symbols of mourning among the ancient Hebrews. Journal of the American Oriental Society, 20, 133-150. Retrieved from https://www.jstor.org/stable/pdf/592320.pdf
Jones, A. (1989). Soul making: The desert way of spirituality. USA: HarperOne.
Legge, D. (2011). “Put on the garment of praise.” Preach the Word. Retrieved fromhttps://www.preachtheword.com/sermon/misc0102-garment-praise.shtml
MacLaren’s Expositions. (n.d.). Isaiah 61:3. BibleHub. Retrieved from https://biblehub.com/commentaries/isaiah/61-3.htm
May, G. G. (2007). Addiction and grace: Love and spirituality in the healing of addictions. USA: HarperOne.
May, G. G. (2007). Addiction and grace: Love and spirituality in the healing of addictions. USA: HarperOne.
Mulcahy, S. (2018). Reflections of the heart. USA: Balboa Press.
Nepo, M. (2013). Reduced to joy. USA: Viva Editions.
Nieuwhof, G. (2018). Didn’t see it coming: Overcoming the 7 great challenges that no one expects. USA: WaterBrook.
Rohr, R. (1987). Broken and blessed [Audio Cassette]. USA: Credence.
Solle, D. (1975). Suffering. USA: Fortress Press.
Walsh, S. (2008) Let go. USA: Thomas Nelson Inc.
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