Home › About
We’re Barry and Paula Davis. For more than five decades we’ve walked the highs and lows of married life together, and for many years we’ve shared what we’ve learned with couples in Australia and around the world. Get to know us, our story, and the values behind Connecting Matters.
Our Story
Who we are
Barry and Paula Davis have been married for over five decades and have two children and two grandchildren. Barry is a retired chartered accountant with a degree in theology and is currently involved in developing relational tools for men as they explore their inner worlds. Paula is a retired clinical counsellor, supervisor, and university lecturer (both in Australia and developing countries), with a Doctorate in psychological trauma education.
Together, Barry and Paula design relational tools for married couples. For many years they conducted workshops for traumatised couples in post-war developing countries. They have also presented marriage workshops and retreats in Australia, East Africa, Sri Lanka, India, and Switzerland and facilitated workshops for missionary couples in Kenya and Uganda.
Barry and Paula see themselves as an ordinary couple living through the highs and lows of married life. They are passionate about relationships and enthusiastic about sharing their journey because they believe that their story offers hope to other couples. They are acutely sensitive to unfairness and injustice in all societies and possess an unshakable desire to keep pushing the boundaries of learning to love well. In 2021, they felt compelled to document decades of experience in a book titled, A Safe Place: A Marriage Enrichment Resource Manual that is accessible on this website or most online book-selling platforms.
In our own words
Seven years into our marriage, our relationship experienced its rockiest time. One day I (Barry) was cleaning up the garage hoping the hurtful and painful issues between us would magically disappear. (My motto was, “When the going gets tough, the tough go to work.”) But underneath existed a dull ache that would not be soothed by work. Meanwhile, the anguish in my (Paula’s) heart howled for relief. After several years of anguish, we reached our final scream.
In a decisive act of hurt, anger and exasperation, I (Paula) entered the garage where Barry was working and told him it was over, I would only stay together for the sake of our children. I was still hoping for some reaction from him that would tell me there was hope that we could work it out. However, instead of inviting him, I precipitated a crisis that demanded a response. How could it come to this when we had entered marriage with such high hopes and strong convictions? Bruised, broken hearted, bewildered and bleeding we were now at the end of the road.
Many years later, we entered our twenty-fifth year of marriage. We decided not only to celebrate our anniversary, but to celebrate the joy of marriage, our growing intimacy and our life together. Again, we went to the alter to renew our wedding vows and pledge new vows for our future together. It was a tender, special milestone.
Why the contrast? What happened to bring us from the lowest point we experienced to the joy of celebration?
If you are married, you will know that marriage is like that. It is in our closest relationships where we hurt the most. There is no hurt like the hurt that happens in the place where love is supposed to reside and there is no joy like the experience of genuine intimacy. Marriage will always be a mystery to us. We can allow it to change us or destroy us.
Our marriage has been an extraordinary, miraculous journey of discovery and grace. We want to share that journey with you. Even though marriage is a mystery, there are life-giving principles that enable us to experience rich and powerful intimacy together. We encourage you to nurture and renew your marriage by taking time out to attend a marriage workshop or retreat. Our hope is that your relationship will be truly enriched, as together we seek to learn what it means to love well.
Come, grow with us!
Paula and Barry
What we believe
Christian beliefs and principles inform our spirituality and are our core values. However, we practice inclusivity and respect alternate beliefs and differing values. People are important to us and those from all faiths and cultural contexts are approached as unique groups/individuals.
We believe:
Join us at a retreat for married couples, or get in touch to find out about our workshops and resources.
Contact Us