Counsellors

Seven years into our marriage, our relationship experienced its rockiest time. One day I (Barry) was cleaning up the garage hoping the hurtful and painful issues between us would magically disappear. (My motto was, “When the going gets tough, the tough go to work.”) But underneath existed a dull ache that would not be soothed by work. Meanwhile, the anguish in my (Paula’s) heart howled for relief. After several years of anguish, we reached our final scream.

In a decisive act of hurt, anger and exasperation, I (Paula) entered the garage where Barry was working and told him it was over, I would only stay together for the sake of our children. I was still hoping for some reaction from him that would tell me there was hope that we could work it out. However, instead of inviting him, I precipitated a crisis that demanded a response. How could it come to this when we had entered marriage with such high hopes and strong convictions? Bruised, broken hearted, bewildered and bleeding we were now at the end of the road.

Many years later, we entered our twenty-fifth year of marriage. We decided not only to celebrate our anniversary, but to celebrate the joy of marriage, our growing intimacy and our life together. Again, we went to the alter to renew our wedding vows and pledge new vows for our future together. It was a tender, special milestone.

Why the contrast? What happened to bring us from the lowest point we experienced to the joy of celebration?

If you are married, you will know that marriage is like that. It is in our closest relationships where we hurt the most. There is no hurt like the hurt that happens in the place where love is supposed to reside and there is no joy like the experience of genuine intimacy. Marriage will always be a mystery to us. We can allow it to change us or destroy us.

Our marriage has been an extraordinary, miraculous journey of discovery and grace. We want to share that journey with you. Even though marriage is a mystery, there are life-giving principles that enable us to experience rich and powerful intimacy together. We encourage you to nurture and renew your marriage by taking time out to attend a marriage workshop or retreat. Our hope is that your relationship will be truly enriched, as together we seek to learn what it means to love well.

Come, grow with us!

Paula and Barry