He, Unmasked: The Tender Weight of Being a Man
“Show me a man who can listen to a woman and not try to fix her problem but rather just listen to her and be there for her, show me a woman who can sit with a man who shares…
Barry & Paula Davis
Barry and Paula Davis live in Sydney, Australia, have been married for over four decades and have two adult children who live with their families nearby. Barry worked as a chartered accountant in private practice. He also has a theology degree and was involved in pastoring and church planting. In recent years his vocation has centred on developing relational tools for men as they explore their inner worlds.
Paula is a clinical counsellor, supervisor and lecturer in counselling. Her doctoral thesis emerged from working with traumatised couples in post-war developing countries, exploring the transferability of Western developed psychological trauma concepts to collective societies. She has been a guest lecturer in higher education in Uganda, India and Sri Lanka.
Together, Barry and Paula have been designing relational tools for married couples since the late 1980s and have conducted marriage workshops in Australia, East Africa, Sri Lanka, India and Europe. However, they believe they are an ordinary couple living through the highs and lows of married life. They wear the label “passionate about relationships” as a badge of honour and are enthusiastic about sharing their journey because they believe their story offers hope to others.
Barry and Paula are acutely sensitive to unfairness and injustice in all societies.
They possess an unshakeable desire to keep pushing the boundaries of learning to love well and to share that learning with others. Nevertheless, they enjoy lingering over a good coffee and can be found utterly absorbed in fun activities in the great outdoors. Challenge and risk attract them and they have had a go at skydiving, great white shark cage-diving, walking with African lions and zip-lining across a magnificent gorge.
Not a Checklist but a Flame: The Brave Woman of Valour
To deepen my understanding of complementarianism and egalitarianism, I turn to Proverbs 31. As I revisit Proverbs 31:10-31, I begin to see it through a fresh lens. This passage, often upheld as a blueprint for the "ideal woman," introduces the eshet chayil, translated as the "wife of noble character" or, more vibrantly, the "woman of valour."
Equal at the Table: A Story Wide Enough for Both
In a world that often divides roles and relationships into rigid categories, the story of man and woman is far richer than we realise.
Her Part in the Story: The Dance of Strength and Surrender
In the delicate balance between strength and surrender, a woman’s role in the grand narrative of faith and relationships is often misunderstood or minimised. Yet, it is here, in the intersection of personal power and quiet submission, that the truest expressions of womanhood are revealed.
Through Her Eyes: A New Vision of Womanhood
What I do know is this: God created woman with intention, strength, and deep relational capacity.
She, Layered in Light and Struggle
From the moment of creation, women have been seen through varying cultural and theological filters, often simplified into roles that either elevate or confine. But the true story of womanhood is layered, woven with threads of strength, vulnerability, triumph, and challenge.
The Ache to Be Seen: Where Knowing Begins
We were created for closeness. One of our deepest longings is to be seen, known, and accepted.
My Body Remembers
Pain doesn’t just live in our thoughts or feelings; it settles into our bodies. Even when we think we’ve moved on, our bodies often carry the residue of what we’ve lived through.
Wounded Love
A threshold is crossed when we say yes to love, again and again. When we allow God’s love to rewrite the story that we’ve been telling ourselves. And when we surrender our shame, the love of God rises and transforms us, making us whole again.
Tears That Open the Heart
In the quiet, raw moments where we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, God meets us, not with condemnation, but with the tender embrace of love and restoration.